I've decided to be more assertive with my mum a couple of weeks ago. She was insisting that it's fun to remember things from the past that I like, but I have to live in the present. I sat around for a few minutes, than I've decided to quiz her on it. I've phoned her back and asked what she meant by living for today, in the present. I asked if she meant that she wanted me to be more like my sister, who's three years younger than I am. I've also asked her if she meant that she wants me to be like everybody else.
She said these words to me:
"All your life, you've been trying to live in some decade. First you tried to be the Beatle, than you tried to be the Kink and than you tried to be Austin Powers." I've interrupted her and said, "I was being myself when I was dressing like The Kinks in the 90s."
She asked, "You were?"
I answered, "Yes, I was."
She said, "I think the only reason that you've phoned, is to start an argument!"
I told her that I had to go. She told me not to hang up, all pissed off. I told her that I really had to go and hung up on her. I went to the pharmacy to see what kind of expensive products they had, than I went back to my apartment. My mum phoned me when I was gone, so I phoned her back.
I told her:
"I like the 60s more than most people. That's my happy place."
She said, "And of course you're going to wear the same clothes as The Kinks, because you like those clothes."
I actually did tried living in the present between 2007 and the late August of 2009. I wasn't doing myself any favours. I showed my rebellious side to a bunch of kids who were sitting around a nearby park on Canada Day and from that point until the early October of 2009, I went into a downward spiral of Anxiety and Depression, because I've realized the errors of my ways. I wasn't in my happy place. I was living in the present and taking the world as it was during that time. I was drinking a lot of energy drinks towards the end, because I couldn't keep up with the present.
The happy ending:
I've started being myself again by going back to my 60s-type Mod roots and listening to The Kinks, again. I'm still living for today in the present, but only in a way that I'm able to with the Internet. It's better for me this way. I don't have to act all tough. :)
